They Won’t Cheat… Or Will They?
If you’ve been victimized by a cheater before, you’ll find it difficult going into your next relationship to believe they won’t cheat again. This is made especially worse if you were lied to during that period and taught to mistrust your instincts. Even when on the surface they seem like they’re loyal and really only want to be with you won’t ever be 100% certain that they aren’t be unfaithful. How can you be?It goes without saying that constantly wondering if you can trust your significant other or looking over their shoulder 24/7 is going to prevent you from actually experiencing anything happy or getting anything good out of your relationship. Your partner is going to be hurt and confused by the lack of trust and you, instead of living in the moment, and being able to appreciate their love and affection, are going to be constantly worried that they’re making a fool out you and that they whole thing is going to blow up in your face.
Is Your Partner Loyal?
You need to somehow, even if you’re in doubt, and even if you’ve been hurt by a cheater before, learn to give them the benefit of the doubt. If you can’t do this you’re going to alienate your partner emotionally and romantically by putting them on the receiving end of your scrutiny and judgment. If you can’t accept the possibility that infidelity can happen in any relationship and move forward hoping for the best, then you need to try your hand at a more casual style of relationship, where there is no expectation of monogamy. What will happen if you can’t give your partner the benefit of the doubt? First, they will sense they are being scrutinized and under investigation for infidelity. They will be hurt by the fact that you don’t trust them and confused as to how they’ve given you any indication that they’ve been disloyal. They will try to reassure you, but that won’t be enough. You’ll question their explanations and any reassurance they give you will be evidence of the opposite. They will be insulted and annoyed, as if there is nothing that they can do to please you. It will anger them that they’ve given you no reason to distrust them and yet here you are, distrusting them. Eventually they will get to the point where they’ve had enough with your accusations. They will break up with you and start seeing someone else. And there you have it. A self-fulfilling prophecy.
There Are Steps to Discover Cheating
If you really believe your partner might be cheating on you, then the first thing you need is hard evidence before you make any accusations. You need to also understand that people cheat for any number of reasons and it hardly if ever has anything to do with you. In other words, don’t take it personally. Yes, I know how difficult that is, and how shitty of an emotion jealousy can be, but the truth is it’s never your fault when a partner cheats, and there is literally nothing you could have done differently to prevent the infidelity. Learning to trust again after having dated a cheater is difficult, but if you want to have a fulfilling relationship, it is a prerequisite. Trust is the foundation of all relationships, and this is especially true of romantic partners. If you’ve been hurt, you need to let go and move forward with an open heart so you don’t blow your next relationship because of your last one.