Caught them Cheating? Oh, Dear…
If you’ve caught them cheating for the first time and you’re wondering if you should give them a second chance then you need to ask yourself a number of questions. Firstly, if you’re overly concerned with the idea that they might cheat on you again, you should know that they probably will. If the cheating has been going on behind your back and you only recently became aware of it, then they probably don’t have any intention of stopping the affair. Even if they do end the affair, the reasons why it started in the first place need to be addressed. If they were carrying on an affair with a single person for an extended period of time while they were with you, and you’re just now finding out about it you need to seriously consider how important your marriage is to you and whether or not it’s worth saving. If you had suspected them of having an affair and they lied about it in order to cover up the affair then you really need to question why you want to stay with them.Relationships are built on trust, and a partner who been going on around your back philandering has severely breached that trust. Clearly, that’s not what you wanted for yourself when you agreed to be with them.Still, if you want to try to make the relationship work after the affair, this is what you need to keep in mind.
Is it Their First Time Cheating?
If it was, you still not may be able to salvage your relationship, but there are some extenuating circumstances that you might find forgivable. You need to determine before hand what you’re willing to and able to forgive within the relationship before you commit to trying to save it. If you’re going to be looking over your partner’s shoulder and questioning their every move, then I’d say your relationship doesn’t have much of a chance. But if you feel like you’ve been emotionally or sexually distant, and that’s something you’d like to work on moving forward, then maybe their infidelity is understandable, if not excusable. That of course, is entirely up to you.
Those Who Have Cheated Before will Likely turn to Cheating Again
If they’ve been lying to you or sneaking around behind your back, then you’re relationship is not salvageable. You can continue with the relationship if you want, but it won’t be the relationship you want that you’ll be continuing with. Chances are, unless you’re a serial murderer, you deserve better than what you’re getting, and despite what you may think, you can find a person with all the qualities you like about your current partner who takes monogamous relationships and your feelings seriously. Cheaters cheat compulsively, so you need to be emotionally prepared for the fact that if they’ve cheated once, and there are no extenuating circumstances, then they’re probably going to cheat again, and spin the same set of lies and run the same game on as you they did before.If you feel like there’s some issues that compelled them toward cheating or the cheating is situational, then you can address the issues and the situation and work from there. Be true to yourself and your own needs when addressing this problem. You deserve to be happy.